Wisdom and Wives… Agur the Ignorant and Lovely Lemuel
Every day we're reading or listening to part of the Bible together and sharing thoughts with you. Today Mal Calladine gets into our eleventh and final monthly chunk of ‘Practical Proverbs’… nuggets of knowledge that have loads of life application.
What did I like about today’s passage?
I’d never noticed before that Solomon steps aside for these last 2 chapters of Proverbs. He hands over to Agur for Chapter 30 and King Lemuel for Chapter 31 – and they are quite different.
Agur calls himself ‘the most ignorant of men’, yet I love where he seems to be at in his journey. He shows a seeking heart, asking lots of very reasonable questions of God. He also shows his desire for integrity and a wariness of arrogance and self-reliance caused by success, or the desperation caused by extreme poverty:
O God, I beg two favours from you; let me have them before I die.
First, help me never to tell a lie.
Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.
I like that sense of him saying I want to find the ‘sweet spot’ of contentment with you God.
And in Chapter 31, its over to King Lemuel, whose reciting what his mother taught him (I love that bit of detail!) The advice? Old words that remain so culturally current. Don't spend all your strength chasing women or getting drunk; instead, speak up for the voiceless and defend the poor and needy. And Lem’s mum finishes with a flourish – 21 verses outlining what the right kind of partner looks like:
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised…
What did it show me about Father God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit?
Agur’s words reminded me of the words of Jesus we have in our kitchen, which are from the Sermon on the Mount…
That the human heart is seeking after contentment – and that is found in knowing acceptance and connection in our relationship with God.
And Lem’s? My marriage has been the greatest regular reminder to me of God’s grace, kindness and guidance. That He does provide more than I could dream of… So this chapter most reminds me of the journey from being a single man! Over 29 years ago, when I met Chriscelle (as a proudly ‘single-and-happy-to-be’ guy) I was confident from day 1 that I had met the person I wanted to share my life with. And on our second date, on the top of a hill walk in the Peak District, that's what we talked about and committed to! But the process over the coming months of choosing to live into and embrace this HUGE idea of change of my identity took time to settle in my heart. So I went off to do a retreat, asking God if this is really what I should go for? I found myself reading Proverbs 31, and being convicted that every comment about what ‘a good wife’ is like, I most imagined in Chriscelle. That the characteristics and actions that are highlighted as important in that passage concerning what a partner is most about, made me appreciate her all the more. So that's when I left that space and got on with it! I was really grateful to be reminded of that journey of guidance: “A good wife, who can find? She is more precious…”
What am I going to do differently as a result?
From Chapter 30, I felt a fresh appreciation of the ‘Agurs’ in my life – those who may not think they’ve got it all sorted, who have lots of reasonable questions of God, and good hearts, seeking integrity. I want to be more intentional in prioritising energy in contacting and affirming who they are, and the journey they are on.
And then, from Chapter 31, I remember really liking hearing Kris Valloton say he asked his wife every year on her birthday: “Are you happy? What can I do to make you happier?” I want Chriscelle to keep knowing I hugely appreciate her, and that question I think has potential to raise things to attend to… so I’ll do that.
Who am I going to share this with?
Chriscelle! To quote to her 31:29, that for me: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all…”
And those still looking for love and a right partner. I do read that both marriage and celibacy are called ‘gifts from God’ in scripture. I want to believe that those who are happy single are embracing a gift. For those who are not happy in that relational state, that emotion rightly held before God is because it’s not the gift for them. I want to believe that for some single friends who believe there is someone for them, and I want to share my faith with them that God can do it, even at the point where we feel powerless to influence. That's my story, so I have some confidence in it!
And from Chapter 30? My Agurs! To encourage them in the profundity and searching of their journey. The questioners and doubters who seek to live with integrity and speak for what is right. I felt reminded of a list of 4 people who came to mind – so I’ll contact them this week.
I love that this book of Proverbs ends with two chapters from different writers than the wisdom-ous Solomon – who focus on the two greatest raised issues of human confusion – meaning and relationships! And I love that the book finishes by encouraging us to embrace our journey of questions and finding a partner. In all this walk of wisdom, may you know His encouragement.